Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
