I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm gonna fight the coyote
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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