After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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