Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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