I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
