I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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