I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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