Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
