I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize