And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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