Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
