Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
