just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
