Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
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At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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