ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm at about main and main street
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
