And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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