sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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