this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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