I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
