Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
