I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
