East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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