so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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