How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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