So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
