jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
