btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
