i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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