OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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