..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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