How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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