hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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