I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
