I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
