You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
