He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
