her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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