Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
