Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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