I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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