If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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