google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
third nipple confirmed
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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