Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
