Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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