Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
