"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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