So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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