just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
not ubering you a puppy
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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