Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
