So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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