Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
