i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
