Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
