I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
