So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
