how can u be prego again
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
