And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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