i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
i think im in europe. pls send help
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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