This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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