Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
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The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
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And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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