I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
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Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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