at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
