my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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