Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
