Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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