For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
