But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
