I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
