I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We had sex on a dog bed..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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