I just threw up on my dentist
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
