I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
