is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
