You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
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My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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