how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
